VENANGO CO., Pa. (EYT) — One in four women and one in seven men in the United States have experienced domestic violence, and our local community isn’t immune to the issue.

In recognition of National Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, exploreVenango.com spoke with a domestic violence survivor living in our area about her experience.

Kim* moved to our local region after being in an abusive relationship that she says nearly cost her her life.

“I grew up watching my mom going in and out of unhealthy relationships. Her father was abusive to her and her siblings which might explain why my mother tolerated the same treatment from other men,” she explained.

“My mother eventually stopped putting up with men taking over her mind, body, and soul in a negative way, but when you experience this in your household at a young age, you’re likely to find yourself in a toxic relationship.”

Kim’s relationship began with what she now realizes were some red flags, or warning signs, right from the get-go.

“I invited him over to hang out, but it didn’t go like that. As soon as he came in, he said ‘How much is your rent? I can live here with you and pay your rent.’

“He wanted to move in right away and even came over with a bag.”

That was only the beginning, though. Kim said she should have been more wary when he informed her he had been in and out of jail for much of his life, as well as by his “I don’t care” attitude toward things.

“He was always ready to fight, not me, but other people, and then it finally turned on me,” she noted.

He was also controlling and tried to separate her from some of the other people in her life and lied to her about himself and his interactions with other people.

“He played with my mind and he played with my emotions,” she said.

“He became extremely controlling to the point where he would threaten me and pursue his threats.”

After things began going from bad to worse, Kim wanted out, but didn’t know how to get out.

“I was so afraid. I didn’t see a way out because I had become faithless and suicidal. Even though I didn’t like the abuse, I didn’t want to be alone. I thought I was going to be his doormat forever.”

“The fear is what really makes us stay, because you feel like if you go, it’s going to be ten times worse. You have to let go of that little bit of fear and be honest with other people. I didn’t tell anyone at first, but then it got to a point where I had to tell someone what was going on because I needed help.”

Being burned with a cigarette, having an electrical cord tightened around her neck, and nearly being stabbed to death are all experiences Kim survived.

“I was going to kill myself because I thought he was going to kill me, whether I ran or not. I just saw me either being with him, letting him treat me how he wanted to treat me, or jumping off a roof or something like that.”

However, she says it was the lies, more than the violence, that finally drove her to get away.

“I had give up some things like my apartment, my food, my clothes, and a little bit of my freedom,” she noted.

She ran to a domestic violence shelter where she was able to not only begin recovering from her abuse, but also where she had help from a legal advocate with filing a Protection from Abuse Order (PFA), as well as the support of the other women around her.

“I still was uncomfortable living in the same area as my abuser. Mentally he was still in my head putting fear in me. I needed a new start by relocating which worked out great for me.”

Since then, she has begun a new chapter in her life, with a whole support team around her, and she also sought counseling to deal with the depression that followed her.

“I got help with a safety plan and gained my faith back. I also found a home church and a sponsor, made friends with other women in the same situation. We were supportive to each other, learned from our experience, helped one another get over some obstacles.”

She is also participating in the Pennsylvania Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) administered by the Office of Victim Advocate (OVA), which helps victims of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking keep their new home address safe from their perpetrator after they have left an abusive or dangerous situation.

Kim also had a message for other people who may be experiencing an abusive situation.

“There’s ways out. Don’t put up with it, because you are worth so much more. I love you, I believe in you, and you can do it, because I’m living proof.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: *The survivor’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.